Snowballs, Gnomes and Gold Chains
by Poppy P
Summary: Set during HBP, Ginny, Fred and George discuss Ron's love life during Christmas at the Burrow. This story was written prior to the release of the 7th book, so no DH spoilers.  rated K for mild cussing.


**Snowballs, Gnomes and Gold Chains  
By Poppy P**

A/N: Originally posted at The Sugarquill back in 8/3/05. Beta-ed by Zsenya. Reviews appreciated and treasured. :)

Disclaimer: Sadly, Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Ginny looked up from her paper chains as Fred, George, Ron and Harry all tramped into the living room of the Burrow. The boys tugged at their wet cloaks and scarves, having just come in from an afternoon of snowball fighting.

"Don't bother sitting down," said Ginny as Ron flopped himself onto the worn couch. "Mum wants you and Harry to help in the kitchen."

"Ah no!" whined Ron. "You're a girl, why can't you help her?"

"Because I'm decorating, you idiot!" said Ginny.

Harry immediately headed for the kitchen with Ron at his heels, muttering darkly.

"Speaking of decorations," said Fred, reaching into his cloak, "hand me some of that tinsel."

"What are you going to do?" asked Ginny quickly.

Fred waved a Petrified gnome at her. "Stunned this little bugger after he bit me on the ankle. I figured he'd make an interesting Christmas bauble."

"Cool!" exclaimed Ginny, "only put some wings on him and we'll use him as the tree topper."

Fred grinned at his sister's enthusiasm. "George, hand me some of that netting. George?"

Fred and Ginny looked over at George. He was frozen on the spot, staring keenly at Bill and Fleur who were sitting together on the armchair in the corner, oblivious to everyone else in the room.

"Blimey," said George weakly, "those two don't seem to need to breath as much as normal people."

"Oh them," sniffed Ginny, hardly bothering to keep her voice down, "they've been at it all afternoon. I think we're going to have to call St. Mungo's soon to detach her from his face."

"Can you blame him?" whispered Fred, as he fashioned a tiny tutu with his wand. "I mean, look at her."

"Yeah," whispered George.

Bill pulled away from Fleur, having finally noticed his siblings' stares. He stood up from the armchair, Fleur sliding gracefully from his lap, "Come on Fleur, it's too crowded in here."

Fleur followed him, but let out a silvery laugh. "Ah Bill, you will 'ave to get used to all of zee attention I attract, I think. Your bruzzers cannot 'elp it."

"Puh-lease!" said Ginny as they left the room. "She's so full of herself."

"He seems happy," said George with admiration, "I didn't hear him complaining."

"Well, like I said, she's been depriving him of oxygen all afternoon," said Ginny waspishly.

"Don't be jealous, Ginnykins," said Fred as he levitated the gnome to the top of the tree.

"Jealous? Me? Of Phlegm?" snorted Ginny, flipping a paper chain at Fred's head. "Don't make me laugh. Besides, I do just fine with the wizards, thank you very much."

"Ugh, what's that supposed to mean?" asked George.

Fred turned sharply. "I hope this doesn't mean that you're still going all over Hogwarts, kissing every Tom, Dick and H-"

"Say it and I'll hex you," said Ginny dangerously, wand drawn. "Besides, unless you're prepared to lecture Ron about the same thing, then I say 'skip it'."

"Do you mean to say-" began George.

"That Ron's finally got himself a little action?" finished Fred.

Ginny nodded. "Finally."

An identical, evil grin spread itself across the twins' faces.

"Do tell," said George.

"It's disgusting really," began Ginny. "I keep seeing him all over the castle, with his tongue down her throat."

Fred whooped, "Go Ronnie!"

Ginny spared him a disdainful look. "I can hardly sit near him in the Great Hall. I wouldn't want to gag on my food."

George frowned. "That's funny, I never figured Hermione to be the type to snog in public."

"Yeah, prefect and all," said Fred.

Ginny sighed. "It's not Hermione."

"What?" said the twins simultaneously.

"It's not Hermione," repeated Ginny.

"But I thought, for sure…" George began.

"He's fancied her for ages," Fred cut in.

"He hurled slugs for her and everything," said George.

"He's an idiot!" said Ginny, furiously attaching another link to her chain. "They had a big row and now they're not even speaking to each other."

"Come to think of it," said George, "I wondered why she wasn't here."

"You're right. I can't remember the last time we spent a holiday without her," said Fred.

Ginny moved towards the window to begin hanging her chains.

"Here, let us take care of that."

Fred and George pointed their wands at Ginny's pile of paper chains. They muttered an incantation under their breath. There was a burst of purple light followed by a muted explosion. Suddenly the chains had multiplied and were everywhere; from ceiling to floor, the room was covered with red and green links.

"Thanks," said Ginny with a grin.

"Don't mention it. Chaos is our business." Fred winked.

George was frowning. "Too bad about Hermione. She was alright." He looked up suddenly, "For a prefect, I mean."

Fred nodded. "We had already broken her in and everything. She was practically a Weasley."

"I don't see them making up anytime soon either." Ginny said sadly. "Ron really mucked it up. Drove her to date Cormac McLaggen and everything."

"Cormac McLaggen!" exclaimed Fred and George.

"Yeah, the stupid wanker," muttered Ginny as she scooped up the scissors and glue.

"But he's…" spluttered Fred.

"An idiot!" finished George.

"Oh I know," conceded Ginny. "You should've seen him at Quidditch tryouts. Practically punched Harry when he told him that Ron had beaten him for Keeper."

Fred and George exchanged a guilty look.

Ginny looked outraged. "Don't look like that! I know he's a prat, but he's our brother! Surely you wouldn't want someone else to take his spot."

"It's not that," said George quietly.

Fred took a quick look towards the door of the kitchen. "Did you know that McLaggen wanted to try out for Keeper last year as well?"

"He did?" asked Ginny.

"He kept bragging about having it in the bag," said George.

"He flies well enough," admitted Ginny grudgingly. "But I don't remember him being at tryouts last year."

"We made sure he wasn't," said the twins together.

Ginny looked bemused. "How? Why?"

George also looked surreptitiously towards the kitchen door before answering her. "We figured that Ron would try out for the team-"

"What with the new broom and all," finished Fred.

"And he kept-"

"Sneaking out of the common room-"

"With his broom hidden up his-"

"Cloak. So we-"

"Followed him."

"We saw that he was-"

"Practicing, and we figured-"

"That he was trying out."

"And what does this have to do with McLaggen," asked Ginny.

Fred and George exchanged another guilty look.

"He was going to try out as well," said George.

"It was no secret, really. The big git kept going on about it," added Fred.

"And we figured that Ron didn't stand a chance against him," said George.

"Oh he's a better flyer than McLaggen," said Fred quickly in response to Ginny's furious look.

"But he's bigger than Ron, isn't he," George pointed out. "Better build for a Keeper."

"So we just figured we'd give Ron every advantage we could," said Fred.

"How'd you get McLaggen out of the way?" asked Ginny, completely nonplussed by her brothers' revelation.

Fred broke out into a wide grin. "We bet the stupid prat that he couldn't eat a pound of doxy eggs."

"Best three Galleons we've ever spent," said George with a satisfied smile.

Ginny giggled. "Doxy eggs? Where'd you get them?"

"Grimmauld Place," said Fred matter-of-factly. "Remember when Mum made us clean up the curtains?"

"Yeah," said Ginny admiringly. "I can't believe you got them past Mum, though."

"Years of experience," sighed Fred.

"Maybe someday you'll live up to our example," added George condescendingly.

"And yet, for all my inexperience," said Ginny musingly, "I've never had Mum or Dad take a broom to my arse."

"Rub it in, why don't you?" said Fred and George together.

Ginny smirked. "So what effects do doxy eggs have, anyway?"

Fred grinned. "Well, let's just say that they have the exact opposite effect of U-No-Poo."

Ginny grimaced. "You mean..."

"Oh yeah," said George delightedly. "And you know there are some things that even Madame Pomfrey can't cure."

"You just have to let them run their course."

They all laughed.

Fred's expression suddenly grew serious. "You won't tell Ron though, will you?"

George looked worried as well. "He may be an idiot, but we don't want him to totally lose his confidence."

"Of course I won't tell him." Ginny stayed quiet for a moment, oddly touched by the twins' concern. "But I'll bet there were moments last year when you regretted giving him the

boost."

"Definitely," admitted Fred.

"But he pulled through in the end, didn't he?" said George with a touch of pride.

"I guess so," said Ginny grudgingly. "I only hope he can manage to pull it off this year." Her expression turned to one of disgust. "Especially as he's so busy now."

"Oh yeah," said Fred. "Who's the witch stupid enough to go out with Ron?"

"Lavender Brown." Ginny said the name with loathing.

"Cute little blonde in his year?" asked Fred.

"She went out with Finnegan for a while, didn't she?" added George.

"That's the one."

"Damn! What's wrong with her?" asked Fred.

"Well," said Ginny disdainfully, "for one thing, she's not very bright."

"Course not. She's going out with Ron, isn't she?" said George.

"She asked me what I thought he wanted for Christmas," said Ginny, a smirk crossing her face.

"Did you tell her he loves the color maroon?" asked Fred.

"And that he likes spiders and acid pops as well?" continued George.

"Of course," said Ginny. "I also told her he'd love a Viktor Krum Chocolate Frog Card."

"Good one!" said the twins.

"Unfortunately, I don't think she fell for that one," lamented Ginny. "But still, I hope she took the gold chain suggestion."

"Gold chain?" snorted Fred.

"Yeah, a nice big one I told her," said Ginny. "Sparkly, with something sweet written on it like, oh I don't know, maybe 'Love Bottom."

"Snoogums," suggested Fred.

The three of them stared at each other for a second before bursting with laughter.

"Come on Fred," said George finally, "We'd better get going if we're going to make it down to the village before dinner."

"Let's take a detour through the kitchen," said Fred with an evil grin.

"In light of Ginny's revelations, I think we'd better," said George, following his twin.

Ginny watched them go before turning to gather her decorating things.

Several minutes later the door to the kitchen swung open and Ron poked his head in.

"Good, you're done. Get in here. Mum wants you to help us peel sprouts."

"I'm doing decorating duty," said Ginny. "She didn't say anything about peeling sprouts to me."

Ron changed tactics. "Come on. Harry said he'll lend you his Firebolt next time we play."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. I'll be there in a sec."

Ron started to go back into the kitchen but turned back suddenly. "What did you tell Fred and George about me and Lav?"

Ginny studied Ron before answering. Although his ears were slightly pink, she noted that he didn't seem upset. "I told them the truth; that you're a filthy hypocrite for lecturing

me."

"Shut your mouth," said Ron automatically although he seemed to be having trouble suppressing a smirk. "Reckon they had to find out sometime though."

"What's that?" asked Ginny.

"That I'm a sex god and all the witches want me," said Ron in a mock serious tone.

Ginny snorted with laughter. "Ha! Ha! Good one Ron."

"Sprouts, now!" Ron slipped back into the kitchen.

"Coming, sweetheart," said Ginny under breath before following him into the kitchen.

THE END


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